This Week in Softball - The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars Edition

Those who look like the Oakland Raiders, Nipsy Russell, former Boston Red Sox shortstops, Natty Lovers and guys named Brian, Neil, Joern and Mike...

Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars Edition

It was a brutal week for the Bush Pilots.  A doubleheader was played last night.  The men fought valiantly. No, we take that back.  The team sucked last night.

Onto the lowlights....

THE GAME

There were not one, but two, vicious beatdowns last night as Team Bush was crushed by both Futaba and Players, 12-1 and 14-5, respectively.  Many errors and of course, poor hitting contributed to these debacles. The only highlight was that we had Nipsy Russell the Ump back in the house for Game 1 against Futaba.

However,  despite the losses last night, we fuggin' ate better than anyone after the game.

So there.  Take that rest of the league.

WELCOME BACK BEAN

The Bush Pilots Softball Club would like to welcome back, our man, Mike "Mr. Bean" McGlinnen to the team.  Bean has taken time out to get married and have two kids, and has now realized, with three woman in his house, he has an incredible need to escape.

When asked how it felt to be back on the diamond again, Bean replied quite simply, "It felt good."

Welcome back Bean!



YOU EVER SEEN A GROWN MAN NAKED?

Upon arrival at Rotunda Fields, Dusty decided he had better hit the head and relieve himself before taking the field.  As he made his way through the entrance to the Auschwitz bathroom, Dusty was horrified to see a naked man, towelling off after using the horrendous looking showers (see the post from last week's TWIS regarding how nasty the shower room is).  Dusty had not planned on seeing a naked man and was obviously traumatized.  This trauma carried over to the field and later to the parking lot.  Dusty has scheduled an hour of time with Dr. Frasier Crane today to discuss how he feels about this and how he now can't get the song, "It's Raining Men" out of his head.

We here at TWIS wish him well with his therapy.

FUTABA

Did we mention, we got our asses kicked, 12-1, by Futaba?  We here at TWIS like to say "Futaba".  It just sounds dirty.

SHINY SHORTS

Here is our man, Eleazar, a.k.a., "Big Country.  We here at TWIS congratulate him on his fine fashion sense.


Check out these shiny shorts he is sportin'.  It looks like something a super hero would wear.  We think a cape and mask would complete the look.




BINGO LONG

Who the fug is Bingo Long you ask?

Well, Bingo Long and his Traveling All-Stars was a movie made in the 70's, with Billy Dee (Colt 45) Williams.  It featured a Harlem Globetrotter-like, baseball team, that traveled the country putting on exhibitions.  Well, the team we played in the second game, the Players, were just like that.  They sang, danced, and chanted shit on their bench throughout the night.  We had to listen to that bullshit through two games.


The Playas could play some ball though and were nice dudes.

Stay tuned for the sequel, "Bean Short and his Stay-at-Home Bush Pilots".



This movie is being shot in Dearborn utilizing Michigan's film tax credit and will star the real Mr. Bean, Rowan Atkinson.







OVERHEARD QUOTES

These gems were overheard muttered by various Bush Pilot personnel prior to our game with The Players....

"We don't stand a snowman's chance in hell."

"You've heard of the 'Miracle on Ice'?  We need 'Miracle on Field' to beat these guys.  We don't have (famous 1980 Olympic Hockey coach) Herb Brooks.  We've got Herb Semens."

"The over-under is 20 runs for them, 2 for us.  Who wants in on this action."

SHEED!

It was mentioned that The Players first baseman looked like former Piston, Rasheed Wallace.  He really did look like 'Sheed, didn't he?







NOMAR!


Our man Dave was on the bench with Coach Proc and Proc's nephew Neil.  At one point he said, "Doesn't that dude over there (on The Players team) look like (former MLB player) Nomar Garciaparra?"

To which Coach Proc and Neil both said "Which one?"

Uh, yeah.  How about the ONLY one it could be?  Token Garciaparra.  Geez.

We here at TWIS can only shake our head at Coach Proc and Neil for their incredible oversight.

DANCING WITH THE STARS

During the first game, Focker was overheard saying something about, "Dancing with the Bush Pilots".  We have no idea what the fug he was talking about, but look for a Bush Pilot team member to be on the hit TV show this fall.


We knew you could dance, Hose!





"K"RAMER SUPER MODEL

"K"ramer was like a super model last night, posing for pictures with his tri tip.  He was walkin' the Rotunda catwalk...

Mr. James Cramer, and incredible tri-tip prior to grilling.

Jimmy's pre-grill set up.

The marinade was fantastic.

Friggin' Yum.  We believe it was Dawg who said the tri tip was "Ridiculously good."  You da man, "K"ramer!






JOERN THE PHOTOGRAPHER

We'd like to thank Joern for taking pictures last night. 

Nice shot of some of the fellas here.
















And here is one of Focker, contemplating life.







NATTY TIME!

We' like to thank Mr. Gaylord Focker for bringing team beers last night.  Focker went all out and supplied the squad with Bush Lights and Natty Lights.  We thank you, sir. 

Also, thank you to Dugger too for bringing the Michelob Lights.  It was quite the Anheuser Busch Pilots product night.

While the Natty Light reminded us all of beer seltzer water, it was quite refreshing on a warm, summer night.



NEXT WEEK

We have another doubleheader (6:30/7:40) next week.  Same fields as this week.  We need all hands on deck again.  We should have BigAl, Gladiator, Jeremy, etc., back out next week.  T.C, dude, are you alive?  Next week, let's get 15 guys on hand so we can rotate in and out over the two games and start the party early.  Coach Proc will be in Chicago Monday through Wednesday visiting the hallowed confines of Wrigley Field, but will be back for the game, however he most likely won't be sending out the pre-game email.

And....Bring $1 for the umps next week.  We have enough cash to pay for one more game only, so we'll need to bring ump money from here on out.  Seriously, we will have to collect a buck each week so bring it.  No excuses.   Put a $1 in your car's console today after you hit the drive thru, so you'll have it on hand.

Who is bringing something for the grill for next week...VOLUNTEER and email us to let us know!

Have a great week!

-COACH PROC