Rain forecasters, those who maintain phone hotlines, balloon animal makers, those who plant groves of trees, the entire state of Arkansas and people named Drew, Jack, Wojo and Salazar...
Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Get Your Shopping On Edition !!!
BUSH PILOTS WIN!
Yes we did. 17-3 over our arch enemy, Mother Nature.
O.K., so we didn't play. Mutha Nate-cha threw us a curve last night and decided to soak the pristine fields of Rotunda, rendering them useless except for a mud wrestling match. Speaking that, we here at TWIS would pay good money to see a mud-wrestling match. That would be cool.
We did, however, have some non-game highlights from last night. Actually, alot of these were lowlights, but we digress...
BUSY SIGNALS?
We made 1,376 phone calls to the Rotunda Fields Weather Line yesterday. Every fuggin' time, the number was busy.
WTF? It is 2010. No one gets a fuggin' busy signal in 2010. What kind of outdated, bullshit technology is this? Hello? Internet? Facebook? Twitter? Web sites? Email? Text messages? Any of these would suffice to get the message across that the damn softball games were RAINED OUT. But fug no! We didn't get the definitive word on the cancellation, so we all showed up. Obviously, some of the other teams heard about it, but not us. Hell, even Can Return Al must've got word of the rainout as he didn't show up last night.
As you can see in the picture, BigAl felt the need to express his displeasure at the rainout hot line and for having to drive in from Farmington Hills. We're with ya BigAl. That was some Booshit!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITCHY!
We here at TWIS, on behalf of the entire Bush Pilots Softball Club Organization, would like to extend a big, Happy Birthday, to our man, Mitchy, who turned FIDDY years old yesterday. You are the man, Mitchy. We'd also like to give kudos to Dugger for giving Mitchy a new Budweiser lid. It was the real, cool, kind of lid that looks like its been worn before. Mitchy instantly put on his new cap and stated, "It just feels so right."
No man says that do they?
Alright, it was his birthday. We'll let it slide.
On the right, you can see the hat. Admiring the hat with Mitch is his daughter, Heather, wife Sandy and son-in-law, Scott. At the time this picture was taken, all of them were also making comment on how the hat must feel so right.
Moving on....
SHOPPING OR BEER
Would you rather drink beer with your buddies or go to the mall and shop?
What percentage of the answers would you expect to be "drink beer with your buddies"?
100%?
That's what we thought.
However, we had one Bush Pilot (JEFF "Jump" SMITH) who decided to abandon his buddies and go shopping at the mall for his daughter's birthday. Now granted, a kid's birthday is a special day. You get a cake, presents, cards, etc. and all is good with the world. But wait. This "kid" is now a 20 year old woman. There will be no Dora The Explorer themed party or trips to Chuckie Cheese. Hell no. She's gonna hit the clubs in Windsor and do some serious drinkin'. So what is the perfect gift for a 20-year old girl? You give her a hundred dollar bill and let her hit the mall with her BFF's while dad drinks beer with his softball buddies.
Do tell Jump....did you find any good sales last night?
MEN WEARING CROCS
Do men wear crocs?
Apparently, some members of Team Bush do. Dusty was sporting a brown pair of the rubber loafers and Hose had on a nice, blue pair. The problem with Hose's Crocs? He borrowed them from his wife. This is the second time this year (and we are only 3 weeks in) that a member of this team has worn woman's shoes (Dugger wore his ex-wife's softball spikes in Week 1).
Again we say here at TWIS: WTF? We are flabbergasted at this.
What is next? Velcro shoes? Black socks w/sandals? High heels?
Really fellas. Shopping? Crocs? Chick's softball spikes? Are we here at TWIS missing something? Did one year away from this game turn you all into some kind of girly men?
What is next? A "Glee" watching party?
WELCOME BACK WOJO
We would like to extend a warm welcome back to our good friend and Bush Pilots fan, Wojo. Its good to know her car is still messy. Some things aren't meant to change.
As for the balloon in this picture that Wojo is attempting to blow....up. Well, we'll just let the picture speak for itself.
URINE GROVE
It was like gettin' back to nature and shit. We like Urine Grove.
And for kicks, we'll throw in some pictures...
Coach Proc and son Jack take time to bond. Actually, Jack couldn't pause his game in time to take this all-encompassing, father-son moment, but it was still a heartwarming moment, nonetheless.
Mitchy and Proc celebrating 50 years of Mitchy. This is the second week in a row these two have been photographed together. Yet another need for Manliness Training on this team.
BigAl and Dubya discussing who should be on the "cool people only" invite list for the upcoming, Fordson High School 22 1/2 year reunion.
NEXT WEEK
Join us next week as we take on the Pterodactyls again at 6:30pm on Field #5. Someone put out a missing person's report on Former Coach T.C. Get to the park, T.C.!!! Sad news, Kurty most likely will miss out on playing. Sigh. However, DougO should be back in the house in a few weeks.
So, people, get out this weekend and buy yourself some pink crocs at the mall and plant a grove of trees to whiz on.
And, spread the word of our Facebook Fan Page ---> Click Here to see it.
See ya next week.
-COACH PROC
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