Old fuckers that can't play ball, European jumbo jets, brown people that roll cigars, people with shorts that don't fit, tough guy softball guys with rolling bat bags, Schultz-like softball guys who dress all in red, and those named David, Matthew and Thomas...
Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Grillin' at Crowley Edition!
GRILLIN' WITH BUSH
Some of the Bush Pilots gettin' ready to grill and drink
Damn fine, looking men enjoing a 70-degree, cloudless night.
Well people. Were' back. Well, not really. We're not on the ball diamonds of Dearborn or Rotunda, but we did get our drink and eats on last night at Creepy Crowley Park. Coach Proc was joined by Mitchy, Focker, David Lee, Dawg and "K"ramer. Beer, burgers and dogs were consumed in accordance to Bush Pilot Law, meaning all were taken down in mass quanity.
We watched the games on the diamond from the parking lot Much fun was made of a "softball guy" who had a perfect uniform and a bat bag with wheels. We also made fun of a guy that did Schultz throws while wearing all red including, tall red socks.
IT WAS A SICK NIGHT BITCHES
It wasn't a party of biblical proportions or even as good as that from The Hangover 2, but it was a good time and you fuckers missed it.
And if you haven't seen The Hangover 2. Do it. Funny ass movie. Not as good as the first one, but I think that is because you didn't know what to expect with the first one. The second one is damn funny though. Go see it. Do it. Now.
SOME KIND OF CRUSTATEAN
During our normal-type conversation last night, the topic of smegma we brought up. Yes, that smegma. You see, one of the fella's fantasy football teams carried that moniker for a season and it confused Mitchy, who at the time, had no idea what smegma was.
Some time down the road, Mitchy was informed that smegma was, well, dick cheese.
Mitchy hasn't been right since.
RAINMAN REMEMBERS EVERYTHING
We are firmly convinced that Mitchy is like actor, Dustin Hoffman's character, "Rainman" for the movie with the same name. You might remember the flick. The dude who remembered bizarre, odd facts. Well, our man Mitchy remembers, seemingly, every score of all 836 Bush Pilots/BBoomers/Sports Haven softball games played .
To prove his point, he pulled out a ball from what had to be 1990 (or earlier) where we beat a team called the "Strokers", 11-10.
Mitchy the Rainman and his game ball from back in the day.
Apparently, for making a tremendous catch for the final out of the game, we were compelled to give him the game ball.
We'd like to salute Rainman ("Five minutes to Wopner!"), er, Mitchy on this momentous achievement and for providing Bush Pilot historical relics for display purposes.
QUOTE OF THE NIGHT
"Fuck you lame, ass, mother fucking pussies!" We here at TWIS believe this was directed at those Bush Pilots who did not attend last night's gathering.
NICE ASH
Proc's nice ash
Coach Proc would like to thank Focker for the outstanding, Arturo Fuente Don Carlos cigar. It kicked azz and kept a long ash.
To compliment that fine ash, Focker paid kudos to the cigar roller by saying, "The little brown man did a good job rolling that!"
GRILLIN' AND CHILLIN'
Focker brought some burgers and condiments. Mitchy and Proc brought forth some dogs and buns and Dawg grilled 'em up.
Good eats.
Grillin' Focker burgers
OLD FRIENDS
Hangin' out since '75 or thereabouts...old bastages.
These two bastards have been friends now for 36+ years. Coach Proc remembers their teacher, Mrs. Borg tipping over David Lee's desk for being so messy back in the days of their 5th/6th grade split class. Good times.
Seriously, though. How the hell can time go that fast???
FOCKER'S HEAD
This section needs no explanation....LOL
NEXT GRILL OUT
OK, ya bastages...check your mailbox in the next week or so for information on our next get-together/grill out and be there! Y'all missed a good time last night.
Tiger Woods, those who eat mashed up chickpeas, people who grill with charcoal, those with man boobs, and people named Scotty, Ryan, Mohammed and Matthew...
Welcome to This Week in Softball - The John Denver on Crack Edition (Season Finale)!!!
The season is over. Yes, over. America's favorite misfit, piece of shit-playing softball team, The Bush Pilots, were mercifully (literally and figuratively) knocked out of the ghey "Jacket Tournament", 15-3, by the New Place Lounge last night.
Now, onto the highlights...
THE GAME
Coach Proc walked up to take the coin toss and was greeted by a New Place Lounger named Scotty. Scotty was quite the spaz fucker and shook Coach Proc's hand and introduced himself. He proceeded to let it be known that the New Place Lounge had finished their regular season with a 1-15 record. While this made absoutely no impression on Coach Proc, the knowledge of their 1-15 record would later make all of Team Bush feel like shit. Its one thing to lose to a shitty team, but to suffer yet another beatdown (15-3) to a team like that made it all the more inexcuseable.
What the fuck people? 15-3 to that team? Man, we blow.
FOND MEMORIES OF THE NEW PLACE LOUNGE
Many years ago, our man Dugger was at the New Place Lounge where upon leaving the bar in a drunken stupor, he was cold-cocked in the face by some dudes in the parking lot. It was pointed out that this is the second time in his life that he has suffered a New Place Lounge beatdown.
JOHN DENVER ON CRACK
As mentioned, the coach for the New Place, "Scotty", was a spaz. And damn if the sumbitch didn't look like John Denver on crack, as pointed out by Dawg. He looked like this...just sayin'...
I'M ON A BOAT
Yes, we are referencing the most-cool song, "I'm On A Boat" again. Why? Because most of you bastards didn't watch the video. Scroll down now to last week's TWIS (below) and watch the damn thing. Its funny.
DUSTY NEEDS TO WARM UP
Midway through the game, Dusty ran out to replace Focker at second base. He threw a ball to Coach Proc, who was running out to first base and said, "Hey Proc, warm me up!"
Coach Proc replied, "I don't think (after last week's performance) that its a good idea to throw you warm up throws."
DUSTY VINDICATED!
As the game was starting, Dusty leaned over and said, "That is the naked ump from the shower!", referring, of course, to the ump Dusty has seen in previous weeks, showering in the Rotunda/Auschwitz bathroom. Luckily for Dusty, this week, he did not see any naked ump action in the crapper. Post-game, an exploratory field trip to the showers, showed portable water handles and evidence of water on the floor, which proved Dusty right that the umpire really has been showering in that shithole.
When it was questioned about the plumbing and its ability to provide water, Gaylord Focker piped up that his dad, a.k.a. Father Focker, is a plumber and that he knows plumbing.
"My dad is a plumber. I know what I'm talking about."
- G. Focker
RUN FORREST RUN!
This should actually be titled, "Run Focker Run!". In our last at-bat, Focker hit a ground ball to short and started to run. Actually, he quit running. Then when the throw sailed over the first basemen's head, he attempted to run again, only to bail out on running completely on what would've got him on base. He never made it even half way down the line. The ball was still rolling around freely as he walked back to the dugout.
Bad Focker!
NEW SPOKESPERSON
Its been decided that T.C. really does sound like that guy who asks questions in the Geico Insurance commercials. It was pointed out that the voice of the Geico gecko was recently fired. Here is an actual photo from T.C.'s audition for the new spokesperson position.
Congrats T.C.!
TWIS Editor's Note: We have actual audio of T.C. as the Geico man. Check back here as we will try to convert the cell phone audio/ring tone to a useable, web (.wav or .mp3 audio file).
PERSONAL JESUS
During the game, T.C. dove for a ball and made a nice catch. Actually, it was debated whether it was a graceful dive or a blow-up/fall-down like our man Mitchy usually does when catching a ball. UPS Greg referred to T.C. as a gymnast and said T.C.'s moves reminded him on former Olympic Gold Medalist Nadia Comaneci. Who knew T.C. was such a contortionist?
Later, while examining T.C.'s war wounds, Dugger proclamined that he could see Jesus in the wound. If you look closely, you will see him too!
Speaking of Jesus, here is a song we here at TWIS like (watch it dammit!). Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode...
HUMMOUS
Being as we were in East Dearborn, home to some marvelous Middle Eastern food, it was appropriate that UPS Greg's dad, Mohammed Swain (no, its not his real name), hooked us up with some tasty hummous.
MISS USA! MISS USA!
And seeing we were in East Dearborn, home of Miss USA, this topic came up...
TIGER WOODS NEIGHBOR
Has our man, Mike Schultz mentioned his crib in Florida is near Tiger Woods? :-)
We hear they are BFF's.
FUTURE SPARTYS?
We do not know why there was an old, abandoned couch on the Rotunda grounds, but there it was in all its glory. Some of the kids posed for a picture. We are all hoping they don't go to Michigan State (GO BLUE!) and become couch burners.
Too late, T.C. lit it on fire.
Damn you, T.C.!
HOT DOG!
Thanks to Coach Proc for brining the hot dogs and buns. Thanks to Dawg for cookin' 'em up on the old-fashioned charcoal grill near the picnic pavillion. Thanks to UPS Greg for buying the charcoal and some beer and thanks to Jump for going to the store for the charcoal and beer.
Good men, all of you.
MOOBS
Late into the night, while hanging in the picnic pavillion and a million beers in, Team Bush watch a 330 foot home run get jacked (or was it foul?). The ball hit a dude in the head who was standing by the Rotunda shitter house. It clunked him right on the melon. You could hear the hollow sound.
Why is this worthy of brining up?
Because several members of Team Bush (T.C., UPS Greg and Focker) thought the ball hit a woman. You know, a female. A chick.
However, it hit what appeared to be a 57-year old white MAN who had white hair and shorts pulled up halfway to his tits.
One of the genius men on Team Bush said they thought the person in question had boobs.
Man boobs maybe.
Or, as Dawg said, "Moobs".
Fags, all of you. That was a bad, incorrect, ghey call on that being a chick.
DONATIONS FOR BEAN'S DAD
Some of you were wondering about donations, flowers, etc. for Bean's dad who passed away last week. If interested, the family requests you send a donation to:
Gleaners Community Food Bank
In Memory of: George McGlinnen
2131 Beaufait
Detroit, MI 48207
GAME OFF!
Well, we've come to the end of yet, another softball season. For Coach Proc and a few others, this was season number 26 (with one year off). Despite the horrific 2-14 record and the playoff beatdown by a shitty team, it was a fun year. The start times worked out perfectly, and, of course, we have a great group of guys to hang out with.
So, with that said...Who is in for next year? Coach Proc says, "YES!!! Let's do this!"
Hell yeah we are playing next year. Let's get a couple of young bucks (The Suite Life of Trev and Trav?) and put this together again! Thursdays worked out great, but we do need a better turnout from you fuggers next year. Some weeks it was tough getting 10 guys due to commitments.
Football season is upon us! GO BLUE! GO LIONS! Many of the fellas on the team will be up at O'Kelley's KofC every other Wednesday during the football season (for fantasy football stuff), so come out and have a beer with us. Coach Proc will send out notes to invite you.
And with that said, the 2010 Bush Pilots softball season comes to close. Stay warm this fall and winter and we'll see you back on the diamond next spring!!!
Those who whiz in outhouses, Futabas, those who carry trophies, last place finishers, Chef Boyardee and those named Zachary, Tim and Wojo....
Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Outhouse Edition
Well America, the regular season has come to a conclusion for the Pilots of Bush. Yet another defeat was laid upon this merry band of shitty softball players. This time, it was a 22-3 drubbing by the radio-controller, servo-motor people from the Futaba Corporation. Yes, you read that right. 22-3. Fug, it was ugly.
THE GAME
After spotting the Futaba bastards a 16-0 lead, the Bush Pilots were successful in getting on the board when Dusty ripped a single to left to score Focker, who had made it to 3rd base on several, Bush Pilot-like throwing errors by Futaba. It seemed like every Futaba dude batted 8 times each during the game. Their old man pitcher, who chokes up on the bat like a teenager chokes up on his pecker, finished the season 19-for-20 against Dugger. That old guy dropped 19 singles (on popups) just over our infielders head in 4 games this season. He is Dugger's nemesis.
FOCKER OUT $5
Gaylord Focker lost $5 in the parking lot pre-game as he bet UPS Greg's kid, Zachary, that the kid couldn't throw a hardball and hit the porta shitter. The kid picked up the ball and nailed the crapper. Focker paid up. More on throwing baseballs at porta johns later...
THAT AIN'T NO JOKE
We were remiss in last week's TWIS not mentioned Mitchy's catch line of the week last week, "That ain't no joke." Well, it wasn't a joke that our man hurt his neck making his fall-down catch last week and had to miss the last game of the season. Travel safe to Florida this week Mitchy and have fun.
I'M ON A BOAT
Post-game, it was mentioned that Hose disappeared. He was in his truck. Why, this prompted Dawg to start singing and referring to the song/video of "I'm On A Boat" we do not know.
However, we here at TWIS dig, "I'm On A Boat". Here's the video:
PLAYING SOUND DEFENSE
Kudos to Dusty for dropping a couple soft ones last night at second base. Post-game he was still dumbfounded at his lack of defenseive prowess stating, "I didn't see any naked guys in the Auschwitz bathroom tonight, so nothing should've affected me."
Someone yelled out, "Way to hold 'em to one (base), Dusty!"
Its truly heartwarming to see teammates finding the positive out of the negative.
TROPHY
Futaba was spotted taking pictures with their trophy. Coach Proc was overheard saying, "Look at those f***ers and their trophy."
Coach Proc knows sportsmanship.
CULP FICTION
Our man Face was sporting a most-excellent, "Culp University" shirt last night. As you can see here, it was most stylish. We hear the number one class taken by students at Culp University is "Debauchery 101".
If so, Face has a PhD in Debauchery. You may all call him Professor Face or, Dr. Face.
However, we are more impressed with Face's acting skills in the movie, "Culp Fiction". Here he is starring alongside, Samuel L. "Mother Fucker" Jackson.
GRILLING
Great job again by "K"ramer on the grill.
Here he is bitchin' up hot dogs and burgers for the fellas with his most excellent, tailgate setup.
Later in the night, Dugger called "K"ramer, "Chefboyardee".
GETTING TO THIRD BASE
Dawg asked Coach Proc, "What's it like to get to third base?". Coach Proc described it as "Wonderful, there is a breeze over there." But to quote a great line from the movie, "American Pie", ""It feels like warm apple pie..." .
Seeing as its rarity for any Bush Pilot to get to third base during a game and in real life as well, getting this far was like being in uncharted territory as a softball player or a teenager in the backseat of a car.
DOES CHARLIE DANIELS PLAY A MEAN FIDDLE?
We here at TWIS are amazed at how much T.C. sounds like the guy in the Geico commercials that asks questions.
We even think T.C. looks like this dude.
Could it be T.C. in real life? Is T.C. the "Geico Man"?
NICE LICENSE PLATE
Our man, Mike Schultz has a fishy on his license plate. A fuggin' shark fishy.
Not bad.
HIT THE SHITTER
Post-game, the Bush Pilots dined on fine food and imbibed in many beers. Near the end of the evening, it was decided to take a bucket of hardballs out of UPS Greg's truck and see if anyone had a good enough arm to throw the baseball and hit the porta-john. Many threw a dollar on the ground and took their best shot. Round after round was held, until finally, UPS Greg hit the roof of the shitter. Way to go UPS Greg! For his reward, he collected $57 off the ground that the fellas had ponied up. We are proud to report, UPS has paid the ump fees for Monday's playoff game and paid off his kid to ensure he doesn't tell Momma of his windfall.
MONDAY
The "jacket tournament" playoff game will be this Monday at 6:30pm on Field #4 against the New Place Lounge. Be there! Let's party on a Monday!
CONDOLENCES
On a serious note...our good friend, Mike "Bean" McGlinnen, lost his dad last night.
Bean, thoughts and prayers go out to you, your dad and your family from your Bush Pilot family and all the fellas. We all extend our deepest sympathies and are saddened by your loss.
Those who smell like ass, people who drink beer out of paper bags and then decide balls and strikes at sporting events, beef eaters and those named Cam, Jordanian, Jason and Al...
Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Smells Like Teen Spirit Edition
WHERE HAVE ALL THE PILOTS GONE
It was a brutal loss last night folks. We will not, nor can we, sugar coat the game results. The severely, depleted, Bush Pilots squad was defeated 22-2, in a game that seemed further out of reach that that. We here at TWIS were almost giddy with happiness that the VA Team didn't score 30 fuggin' runs on us. We did manage to get 10 Pilots to the game and even threw in Jeffro Bardelli's son, Cam, and Dugger's son, Jordan. Hell, why not? These boys have seen their dads lose for years now, why not make them a part of these beatdowns to understand our standing in world of softball.
Which leads us to: WHERE HAVE ALL THE BUSH PILOTS GONE? You fuggers have more excuses. Well, actually this week, no one even bothered to give excuses. Hell, half of ya never responded. WTF people? Man up already. One game left. We expect you there!!!
COACH PROC HITS FOR THE CYCLE
Not really, but he did go 3 for 3 in this disgusting mess of a game and at this time would like to congratulate himself. We believe when a Bush Pilots congratulates oneself, its called, "masterbushing".
SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
"Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Dawg, when asked to comment on theme of the night. Due to the youngsters participating on our game, this is a very fitting term.
And, its a cool Nirvana video too...
NO LOOPS
Can Return Al was back in the house! We had feared the worst (dude is looking bad), but he made a triumphant return. It was pointed out, he wore a belt to hold up his pants, yet the pants didn't have any belt loops. We offer this as proof of the No Loop Pants Syndrome:
HURRY UP WITH MY CANS BITCH
At one point, CRA pulled up in the dented, yet stylish Taurus and kept laying on the horn. This was to get Mitch to hurry up and collect cans for him. Soon, Grasshopper Mitch will snatch the pebble from the Master's hand and the cycle will become complete. To hell with the old show Kung Fu, we got the makings of a new show, Can Fu!
FACIAL HAIR
"Draw a mustache on your face next time." -Coach Proc to Dugger's son Jordan, after Nipsy the Ump called him out for being too young to play.
BUGS IN THE PISSER
Mitchy gets the weekly award (normally given to Dusty for seeing naked men in the shower) for seeing something odd in the Rotunda Fields whiz house last night. Pre-game, Mitchy went in there to whiz and saw bugs coming up from the drain of the urinals. Yes, bugs, many of them, crawling up and out of the urinal. EWWWWWW. That building is so fuggin' sickening.
NIPSY NIPPIN'
The umps were once again sitting at the picnic table near the Rotunda Outhouse and were drinking beer out of paper bags. Rotunda is such a classy, fuckin' joint.
TRI TIP AND DOGS
A big thank you to BigAl for bringing the hot dogs and to Big Country for bringing the Tri Tip. As usual, "K"ramer outdid himself on the grill. That tri tip was awesome!
NEXT WEEK
We apologize for the shortened TWIS, but Coach Proc is at home enjoying the last day of his vacation which for most of the week saw him and the family kickin' it back on the beach up in the Traverse City area. There was no photoshop software available in which to mess with you bastards, but it will return next week.
Speaking of next week, its the last regular season game. We think we have a playoff game the week after, but aren't sure.
With that said, get to the game next week. End of story.
People who are playas, chicks that play catcher, steroid users, men who shower at softball parks and those named Trevor, Travis, Mike and Pocahontas...
Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Down Low Edition
Well America, we are back. Yes. Back. You bastages bitched and moaned like school girls due to the lack of TWIS the past two weeks. Rain outs and work got in the way, so shut the fug up already, cuz we're back! Y'all missed the Bush Pilots didn't ya?
THE GAME PART 1
The Men of Summertime took the field at 6:35pm last night under beautiful sunny skies and temps in the low 80s. Our opponent in the first game was Sons of Pitches. It was a team of mostly young guys who didn't appear to be a day over 25. We beat 'em down 16-7 and had a good time doing it. Yes, they played a chick at catcher, so anything less than a win in this game would've constituted pure sissy man gayness on our part, but we digress. We graciously accepted our victory and moved on to the second game.
STOP HAMMER TIME
No, it wasn't hammer time, but once again, it was SHOWERTIME! What do we mean by this? It means our man Dusty once again took a pre-game whiz only to see a grown man nekkid in the Rotunda showers. What makes this so fugging suspect is that members of the Bush Pilots investigated this shower weeks earlier only to come to the conclusion that their was no way to turn on the water. So, we would like to know, WHY THE F*CK IS THERE A NAKED UMPIRE IN THE SHOWER ROOM EVERYTIME DUSTY TAKES A PRE-GAME WHIZ? Much like bucking in for the umps, we are going to suggest putting in some money for Dusty to go to therapy. No man needs to see this. No good can come of this.
And seeing as the title of this section refers to a classic M.C. Hammer tune, we bring you this old skool video of the Hammertime itself, "U Can't Touch This"....
THE GAME PART 2
Our second game featured a matchup vs. The Mustangs, a team we have all decided is the team we hate the most. Its a team full of smartass dickheads. The game was delayed to due to Shower Ump disappearing for 15 minutes. Later it was found out, he went near the Shower Shack to knock back a 40 oz. beer. Good thing he umped hammered in the second game. Wow another hammered reference in TWIS, we are liking this. As for the game, we lost 11-4. It pisses us off to lose to this team as they aren't that good. Sunsabitches.
THE TREV AND TRAV SHOW
We'd like to thank Trevor and Travis for showing up and making us look like a real team. Both are younger guys who can play the outfield, which helped us out tremendously. Thank you fellas. Come back. You are needed on Team Bush.
We here at TWIS, think Trev and Trav sounds like the name of a Disney Channel Show.
NOLAN DUGGER
We'd like to sent out congratulations to our pitcher, Doug "Nolan Ryan" Bryant on breaking his season-season strikeout record as he fanned 2 more last night to bring his total to 12 on the year. Sure, strikeout number 11 was against a girl, but it still counts. We also would like to send props to him for not celebrating the afforementioned strikeout of the girl as it would've been Bush League.
NO MORE DP FOR BC
To get Big Country out of his hitting into double play funk, Coach Proc had him lead off both games last night. This ensured the first at-bat could not be a double play. Big Country responded well and hit the ball like a madman last night.
POKEALOTTATWAT
In between games, our man Dawg found an arrowhead last night while opening his first Labatt Blue Light. It made him reflect on our nation's history and specifically that of our Native American brothers and sisters. As he talked about the arrowhead, he referred to Pocahantas, the fine, Native American chick. However, Dawg referred to either her or the whole finding-the-arrow-situation as "Pokalottatwat".
Dawg knows Native American history. Look for him this fall at Henry Ford Community College. He'll be teaching the class "American Indians, Their Weapons, Woman and Gettin' Busy" (History 169).
We recommend all of you register for this class.
BOBBY TK
Many years ago, when the Bush Pilots were called BBoomers, we used to have a guy on the team named Bobby. Bobby was a spaz. Literally. He must've had ADHD or some stupid hyper-active disease, because he was always talking, running, moving, etc. We also used to have a guy named Tim (T.K.) on the team. T.K. looked like Magnum P.I. (Tom Selleck). We only mention this because the Mustangs have a guy on their team that is a Spaz and looks just like T.K., right down to the mullet T.K. used to sport
We offer this photo of T.K. from the Bush Pilot archives. Damn if the Mullet Spaz from The Mustangs doesn't look like him.
LIONS WIN THE SUPER BOWL
This has nothing to do with softball, but our beloved Lions win The Super Bowl in Madden 11, defeating Peyton Manning and the Colts. We here at TWIS know this is the closest the Lions will ever come to actually winning the damn thing. We've watched it 15 times and have teared up everytime. Someone get us some Kleenex. We're sobbing like bitches watching vampire movies at this...
HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE
"Is UPS Greg on HGH?" - Dugger during the first game last night.
And who can blame Dugger for making this accusation? No one. UPS has made diving plays, hit the ball like a madman and thrown like a stud all season. His bionic hip is nothing short of a miracle.
UPS is the man.
GOING YARD AT COMERICA
We just wanted to send some accolades out to Mitchy and "K"ramer on getting to hit off former Detroit Tiger, Dave Rozema, at Comerica Park a few weeks ago. Here are some pictures:
The men with Dave Rozema outside the Tigers dugout.
The Comerica Park sign.
"K"ramer and the old man, Jim Leyland.
Mitchy and Leyland.
Mitchy taking away a home run in dead centerfield.
Mitchy hits one 325 ft off Dave Rozema. It almost goes out of the park but falls just short.
MEAN JOE GREEN MOMENT
Before departing the shitty confines of Rotunda Fields, Mitchy and Coach Proc decided to visit the whizzer. It was locked, so the appropriate business was done behind the building. On the walk back, they stumbled upon Nipsy Russell the Umpire. Of course, as you all know from an earlier edition of TWIS, this ump looks and sounds like, now-deceased, comedian, Nipsy Russell. What ensued was a 15 minute conversation with the man. He told us of his baseball/softball prowess and how he used to play "With a fifth and a case of beer." Dude reflected like a mutha fugger and talked about playing ball at a park in Detroit called "Jane Park". It turns out Mitchy had played there to and the bonding moment was on full force. Later, Nipsy took off his ump jersey and threw it to Mitch. Coach Proc snapped this picture.
NEXT WEEK
We play a team we haven't played before, "VA", at 6:30 on Field #5. Be there, and yes, bring a dollar. Coach Proc will hopefully make it at game time as he will be coming back into town that day. If not, coordinate things until he gets there.
SOMEONE BRING SOMETHING TO GRILL YOU CHEAP BASTARDS. Seriously. Only a handful of you have brought food.
Only a few games left fellas. Let's make the most of 'em.
Those who speak German, Charlie Brown, Those who hit into double plays, Consumers of Beef, Flashers and those named Joern, Mitchell, James and Marc...
This Week in Softball - The Just Say Nein Edition
Well sportsfans, the season's horrendous play continues as the Bush Pilots dropped to a horrific 1-10 record. Yes. 10 losses. BUT, we continue to be champions of drinking and eating, so we guess that makes up for the shittiest softball playing ever.
Now, onto the game! THIS IS A SHITSTORM
We were thoroughly man-handled by the Pterodactyls again last night by a final score of 14-2.
How bad was it?
We believe the Bush Pilots hit into 4 double plays. Yes, 4 of them. WTF? It was ugly. Pterodactyls were running loose everywhere. Coach Proc truly believed he had put in the best lineup of the season only to see it go to shit. At one point, he uttered, "This is a shit storm!" And damn if it wasn't. Fuggin' ugly it was.
In the nightcap, Team Bush fought valiantly, but was taken down 3-0, by arguably the best squad in the league from Village Ford.
WELCOME BACK
We'd like to welcome back our long, long, long, lost friend and former coach, T.C.! After many months of babysitting and surfing for adult-related web-content, our man finally surfaced at Rotunda Fields and had several of the very few hits the Bush Pilots had all night. Its about time you showed, T.C.!
We also welcomed back our most-manliest man, Jeffy, who was 6 for 6 or 10 for 10 or whatever he said he was last night. He felt so good (it must've been his cut off sleeved shirt that showed his guns) that he moved himself into the clean-up spot in Game 2. You da man, Jump.
DOUBLE COUNTRY
Poor Big Country.
He hit into quite a few double plays last night and was not a happy camper about it.
TRI-TIP RETURNS
We send out a HUGE thank you, yet again, to Mister James Cramer ("K"ramer), ladies and gentlemen, for brining and grilling up the Tri-Tip, once again. It was outstanding!
Thank you to BigAl for bringing the hot dogs and buns (thank your wife Alyson for us, BigAl)
MORE TRI-TIP
These pics speak for themselves!
Yum.
Slicing and dicing!
Lining up for the feast.
NEIN!
Focker practiced his parenting skills last night on Joern's kids. You see, our man Focker has a newborn at home (Baby Maks) and was getting into the groove for when Maks gets a bit older. As Joern's kids ran past Focker, he yelled at them very loudly and said, "NEIN!", which, of course, means "NO" in German (Joern and his kids came here from Germany). Instantly, the rugrats stopped and looked at Focker in fear. Focker felt great power at that moment and later tried to use this line again, only this time, the little fellas laughed at him and ignored him, much like we do.
DADDY DAY CARE
BFF's Hose and Schmenge ran up to 7-11 for some beer and when they came back had decided to open a daycare business. Hose said Schmenge would be watching the children and he would provide emergency medical care.
We wish these two nothing but the best in this business endeavor.
FLASHER IN AUSCHWITZ
Coach Proc, Mitchy and Dawg (and later joined by Jump) hit the Auschwitz bathroom last night and after whizzing, promptly decided to have a full-scale investigation of the Rotunda shower room. After much inspection, it was found out that the water would not turn on in the shower.
Why is this important?
Because last week, our man Dusty saw a dude towelling off in there. How could this be if the water won't turn on?
There is a flasher at Rotunda Auschwitz.
GOODBYE JOERN
We'd like to say goodbye and best of luck to Bush Pilots fan, Joern. He and his family won't be working with Mitchy and "K"ramer anymore and are moving to Atlanta. And GO GERMANY in the World Cup!
NEXT WEEK
No game next week. Its a bye week due to the 4th of July holiday. We are back in action on the 15th! It'll be a single game. Bring $1 for the ump. Anyone want to bring something for the grill? Step up!
In the meantime, have a great Independance Day Holiday. God Bless America!
It wasn't a party of biblical proportions or even as good as that from The Hangover 2, but it was a good time and you fuckers missed it.
Focker brought some burgers and condiments. Mitchy and Proc brought forth some dogs and buns and Dawg grilled 'em up.
