This Week in Softball - The Match Game Edition!

Former UofM football players, those who put jalapenos in hamburgers, people that play softball in zebra-pattern camo uniforms, game show hosts and dudes named Dorian, Reesh and Otter...


Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Match Game Edition!

What a fun night last night, eh?  Perfect weather, great eats, tons of beers, picking our FFL draft order and Bean spoiling it all with a sick word (more on that later).

GRILLIN' WITH GUY FIERI



Rich's Jalapeno/Bacon/Cheese burgers on the Binford 9000 grill



The Bush Pilots and FFL-ers in attendance ate great last night.  A feast was grilled up by our man from The Food Network, Guy Fieri, and all was good.  Actually, Guy Fieri wasn't there, but word is he is the cousin of a sales dude at Mitch and "K"ramer's company and in actuality, it was Guy "K"ramer who did the cooking, and did it quite well, we might add.

Bratwurts, cheesy dogs/brats and Rich's jalapeno/bacon/cheese burgers were taken down by the hungry masses.  No one went hungry.

"K"ramer as Guy Fieri

Nice job by all bringing chow and thanks again to our man "K"ramer and his Binford 9000 Tailgate Grill, for bitchin' up the food for us.

FFL DRAFT ORDER IS SET

Cards were drawn and this year's Fantasy Football draft lineup was established.  It is as follows:

1-Dubya

2-Dave
3-Dawg
4-Bean
5-Dennis
6-Rich
7-Jim
8-Focker
9-Mitch
10-Proc
11-Blue Ticket
12-UPS

Draft Day Sunday Sept. 4th!
 
GENE RAYBURN VS. RYAN RABURN
 
 

During the mandatory Detroit Tigers discussion last night, the topic of Brandon Inge was brought up (as it always is).  Most hate the .198 hitting, third baseman, but those who like him (Dennis) tend to think of him in loving terms as if he were a puppy or teddy bear.  Its sad, this love of Ingie, but we here at TWIS digress.

TWIS dug game show host Gene Rayburn
back in the '70s.

Ryan Raburn admires himself as he
hits into another double play.

As we moved on from Inge, the topic changed to Ryan Raburn, the Tigers other, shitty hitting player.  Raburn is fast becoming "The New Inge" in the minds of many and is getting to a most-hated, status.  He did jack a home run last night leading the Tigers over the Royals.  Anyhow, The Raburn Saga prompted a few Bush Pilots to remark that Gene Rayburn (of The Match Game fame) would be a better Rayburn for the Tigers, despite him being dead for 11 years.   Rock on, Gene Rayburn.  We here at TWIS loved The Match Game whilst growing up in the 70s.  He rocked the long-ass, microphone and used to hit on that ugly chick, Bret Somers whle making fun of the homo, Charles Nelson Riley. 

 

Homo Charles Nelson Reilly





Ugly ass Match Game chick Bret Somers



GO BLUE!



We'd like to give a Bush Pilots should out/welcome to Dorian Taylor (he works at the same place as Mitchy/"K"ramer), who joined us in the festivities last night.  Dorian is a former UofM football player and a good dude.  Dorian, we thank you for the beer.  The team drank hard last night and that last case put many in the overserved category.  Reports are still coming in of hangovers. 

 

Dorian is in this picture.  Trust us.  GO BLUE!!!



FELCH



This leads us to the conclusion of our evening.  Our man Bean, back in the saddle in the Fella's Fantasy Football League, was mulling over his team name.  You see, year's ago, Bean called his team, "Smegma", which was quite a grin for all -- except Mitchy.  You see, Mitchy had no idea what "smegma" was.  After consulting the internets and finding out that it was, well, simply put, "dick cheese", he became ill at the thought of Bean's name.

Fast-forward to last night and Bean announced he might name his team "Felch".  Now, Team Bush knows our smegma, but we don't know our felch.  Proc surfed the 'nets and sure enough, it is yet another sick term.  So sick, in fact, that we here at TWIS (and we nasty bastards in our own right), refuse to publish the dictionary meaning of this word.

However, we do suggest you click this link and find out for yourself:   FELCH



So people, keep enjoying the summer.  Yes, we miss softball (well, some of us do), but the two parties we've had have been a blast.  Maybe we might even have our once a year T.C. sighting before the summer is over.

Rock on.  Keep summer going...



-COACH PROC













This Week in Softball - The Grillin' at Crowley Edition

Old fuckers that can't play ball, European jumbo jets, brown people that roll cigars, people with shorts that don't fit, tough guy softball guys with rolling bat bags, Schultz-like softball guys who dress all in red, and those named David, Matthew and Thomas...

Welcome to This Week in Softball - The Grillin' at Crowley Edition!

GRILLIN' WITH BUSH

Some of the Bush Pilots gettin' ready to grill and drink



Damn fine, looking men enjoing a 70-degree, cloudless night.


Well people. Were' back. Well, not really. We're not on the ball diamonds of Dearborn or Rotunda, but we did get our drink and eats on last night at Creepy Crowley Park.  Coach Proc was joined by Mitchy, Focker, David Lee, Dawg and "K"ramer.  Beer, burgers and dogs were consumed in accordance to Bush Pilot Law, meaning all were taken down in mass quanity.

We watched the games on the diamond from the parking lot  Much fun was made of a "softball guy" who had a perfect uniform and a bat bag with wheels.  We also made fun of a guy that did Schultz throws while wearing all red including, tall red socks.

IT WAS A SICK NIGHT BITCHES

It wasn't a party of biblical proportions or even as good as that from The Hangover 2, but it was a good time and you fuckers missed it.

And if you haven't seen The Hangover 2.  Do it.  Funny ass movie.  Not as good as the first one, but I think that is because you didn't know what to expect with the first one.  The second one is damn funny though.  Go see it.  Do it.  Now.

SOME KIND OF CRUSTATEAN

During our normal-type conversation last night, the topic of smegma we brought up.  Yes, that smegma.  You see, one of the fella's fantasy football teams carried that moniker for a season and it confused Mitchy, who at the time, had no idea what smegma was.

Some time down the road, Mitchy was informed that smegma was, well, dick cheese.

Mitchy hasn't been right since.

RAINMAN REMEMBERS EVERYTHING

We are firmly convinced that Mitchy is like actor, Dustin Hoffman's character, "Rainman" for the movie with the same name.  You might remember the flick.  The dude who remembered bizarre, odd facts. Well, our man Mitchy remembers, seemingly, every score of all 836 Bush Pilots/BBoomers/Sports Haven softball games played .

To prove his point, he pulled out a ball from what had to be 1990 (or earlier) where we beat a team called the "Strokers", 11-10.

Mitchy the Rainman and his game ball from back in the day.

Apparently, for making a tremendous catch for the final out of the game, we were compelled to give him the game ball.

We'd like to salute Rainman ("Five minutes to Wopner!"), er, Mitchy on this momentous achievement and for providing Bush Pilot historical relics for display purposes.

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT

"Fuck you lame, ass, mother fucking pussies!"  We here at TWIS believe this was directed at those Bush Pilots who did not attend last night's gathering.

NICE ASH

Proc's nice ash

Coach Proc would like to thank Focker for the outstanding, Arturo Fuente Don Carlos cigar.  It kicked azz and kept a long ash. 

To compliment that fine ash, Focker paid kudos to the cigar roller by saying, "The little brown man did a good job rolling that!"

GRILLIN' AND CHILLIN'

Focker brought some burgers and condiments.  Mitchy and Proc brought forth some dogs and buns and Dawg grilled 'em up.

Good eats.

Grillin' Focker burgers

OLD FRIENDS

Hangin' out since '75 or thereabouts...old bastages.

These two bastards have been friends now for 36+ years. Coach Proc remembers their teacher, Mrs. Borg tipping over David Lee's desk for being so messy back in the days of their 5th/6th grade split class. Good times.

Seriously, though.  How the hell can time go that fast???

FOCKER'S HEAD

This section needs no explanation....LOL

NEXT GRILL OUT

OK, ya bastages...check your mailbox in the next week or so for information on our next get-together/grill out and be there!  Y'all missed a good time last night.


-COACH PROC